Until You Do Right By Me...

Everything you touch gone crumble. What a fuckin week. Where do I start? It's so hard to tell this shit without droppin muthafuckin names. If any of these folks were ever to stumble across this shit, they would know who I was anyway...but why invite it. *sigh*. Aight. Let me recap my last week. Last Monday, I got a text message to my work cell, and it basically said I'm a dumb bitch. Aight...I've been called worse. That was the only message. The same day, I noticed some funny activity on messenger, that I reported to him as soon as I was aware of it. I told him I had a bad feeling - did he want me to cancel the trip? Inside I was thinking, he better not say yes...but I would accept it if he did. He said no, he still wanted me to come. So, I flew back to my second home, the place I left my damn heart, last week so that I could be there and see him for his birthday. It wasn't an easy feat - I had to move a bunch of shit around in the schedule, but I did it. Only a few people are aware of the reason for my visit. I got in late Wednesday the 16th, and I saw him first thing on the 17th. The night before, he emailed me and told me he would be there around 9 or so. He's not able to call me anymore, so he said I would have to make sure that I woke up on my own. I got my ass up at 7:40am, yo. I was excited. He got there as early as he could, with all the traffic and everything, a lil after 9. I wore something he technically paid for - a blue chemise with a slit in the thigh and a matching blue thong. I think only about 3.5 seconds passed before he was trying to get it off of me. He wanted this to be like some new, special experience, where we were both really open with other and didn't hold back anything. I was so nervous. But honestly, nothing out of the ordinary happened. The first round was nice, I took care of him, lol. We laid around talking for a while, like usual, smiling and talking and touching each other's faces. Telling each other, "I love you." I wasn't worried about the time, because he was supposed to stay until around 2 or so. Plenty of time. Soon, round two was under way - it was nice but I just couldn't get where I needed to get...he was sweating BUCKETS...I was actually worried for a moment that he was over-exerting himself. He's about 7.5 years my senior. He bust a good one - my job was done. I didn't get mine, but I wasn't worried - on certain rare occasions, he was able to get it up a third time - wowsers, LOL. He went to the bathroom soon after - full bladder. While he was in the bathroom, his phone started vibrating. You know, it actually amazes me that he left it out where I could see it. If I wanted his number or hers, I could have gotten it. I picked up the phone and looked at it. There was a number that wasnt programmed, but it looked vaguely familiar. Why I would know any number of someone that was calling him, I didn't know at the time. When he came out of the bathroom, I told him his phone had been ringing. He looked at it and said he had to take the call, as it was vibrating in his hand again. I realized then it was her. I was just laying there on the bed, naked as a jaybird, and nodded my head in awkward silence. He scrambled to get dressed so fast that he almost tumbled over. He was in a big hurry to get out the door and call her back. He didnt even put his socks on. When he came back upstairs, he told me that he had to start getting ready to kick rocks. My jaw dropped...but why? I asked. That was her, he told me. She was trying to surprise him by taking a half day off of work, so he had to get back to the house. My heart sank. I'm pretty sure he was gone before it even got to be 12. To cheer myself up, I got myself together and went to Ross...bought a few shirts. Chit-chatted on the phone with a real cutie pie from BP (who sounded a lil light in the loafers, despite being 6'3" and 250 lbs). I was gonna try and meet up with him if my plans with this chick from BP fell thru for the evening - which they didn't. After I came back from shopping and eating, I loafed around for a while...changed my clothes and went out to return the first rental car - long story. I picked it up then went to meet my new friend at her house so we could go out for drinks. After being with her for a few moments I had to ask her when her birthday was. And i was NOT surprised to find out that she's of the same sign as me - her bday is only 3 days before mine. I liked her instantly. And she's pretty - when she got in the car she smelled of incense, the good buddha kind. LOL. Folks of my sign tend to be a lil abstract, some more than others. She's on the more side, for sure, but I don't begrudge her that. It's admirable to be so sure of yourself and your beliefs. I do not think that she's bi - but I found myself attracted to her. Go figure. I need to work some shit out with myself. Perhaps I'll find out the answer to that later on. She's tall too, but i didnt feel dwarfed in her presence the way I have with other certain tall broads. I got in around 1 or so and didn't go to sleep til around 3-ish. The next day, the 18th, was Friday, and so I prepped myself again for his visit by putting on the second outfit he technically paid for - the red side lace up chemise. It's silk and wrinkles easy. But when he came in, he did express his approval. I was so glad - but man I was so sleepy and so I was semi relieved when he said he was tired. But on the other hand...his lil brown boy (hey he made that nick name not me) was not reacting to the red chemise, dammit. I felt midly grossed out as I thought back to his anniversary earlier this year when he couldn't perform due to activity the previous evening. Disgusting! I asked him if that was the case this time? He said no, he was just tired and drained from the day before. I raised an eyebrow but I let him crawl into bed unmolested. I soon dozed off...and he was waking me telling me he wanted to go out, didn't want to stay in the room. I was like hunh? what about...why did I put this on then? He just kept saying he wanted to buy me something, wanted to go shopping...I was vexed. I got dressed and fixed my face. I sat rather closed-mouthed the whole ride to the outlet mall, a lil chat here and there, but i was steaming. We went into a couple of stores, I didnt see anything I liked, and besides, I was both hungry AND horny and feeling put off. Finally, we went to eat and as we were sitting at the table, I finally asked him had he happened to notice that I didn't cum the day before? The look on his face...priceless. He said he thought I had because my legs had been shaking etcetera *insert eye roll here* - I said NO. So then he felt like an ass. And then he felt insecure because he thinks he doesnt satisfy me. I said yesterday it was no big deal because I knew there would still be today and possibly Saturday. But that's not what happened, and he then realized and UNDERSTOOD that I was frustrated. He said he would make it up to me. I grunted. He asked would i feel better if we went back to the room now and...I said nope cuz now I dont even want it. Mission accomplished...I made him feel like shit. And then I felt bad. Fuck. By the time we left, we had gotten back to chit chattin. On the way back to the hotel, he tried to strike up conversation by posing a bunch of what-if questions that I was hesitant to discuss. Like...what would life be like being together everyday? Would we get along? It's hard to know because we love each other from afar but if we had to be in each other's faces all the time would we mesh? I think, honestly, that he would be so good for me, and he's taught me a lot about giving people their own space. (Like I'm being forced to do NOW...you'll see soon.) I finally told him something that had always bothered me but never thought the subject would come up. That i didn't think it would work out because of my kids. I have three and he only has one and has expressed that he does not want anymore kids. Four kids and one kid are a huge difference. I was corrected though, much to my pleasant surprise. He loves kids, he just doesnt want to have any more BABIES. And if he could have one starting from say the age of 3, it would be cool. I laughed. He said that if he had one day decided he wanted to be with me, marry me, that would obviously include the girls - I'm a package. I sat there, not wanting to discuss it much further. Why ponder what will never be??? But my heart was smiling. I need to wrap this up shortly - but I will be back tomorrow to post again and fill you in on the rest of that day as well as the two days that followed on up to today. I'ma just say this. Friday was all good, I went to see HP. Saturday morning I woke up to a text message letting me know that she'd discovered we were still talking and the shit had hit da fan. So much for sleeping in.