Forever Magnetic

It is now Sunday, October 2nd here, on the east coast.  On Friday night, we really went out!  I wore a black off the shoulder top, pink slacks and black heels...OMG my feet hurt.  LMAO  We ended up going to some lil joint in the city that seemed to have mostly latin folks and salsa goin on.  We stood at the bar talking most of the time, and I was steadily getting drunk.  I had two cosmos and three kamikazes, straight up.  The things that I remember the most from the convo...talk of travel.  Even with everything, she'd still let him go somewhere, with some skepticism, but she'd let him.  Also, that he understands why I did what I did.  We also talked about how even though we're so close, there is still so much about him that I don't know and will probably never know.  I told him what my girl said about me being BI for sure due to my performance.  He looks me dead in the eyes and he says he knows me.  "I KNOW YOU."  I nod in agreement.  He said he doesn't think I am, that I'm just curious is all.  He knows me, we've been so close over the last few years.  Even she couldn't understand how we talked sooo much, after looking at the bill.  Well we drank and talked there for awhile til finally I had to go pee.  I stumbled to the bathroom, peed, tipped someone a dollar who was sitting there at the sink handing me the soap and the paper towels, stumbled out, just as Terror Fabulous "Action" was coming on - THATS my shit.  LOL.  As I walked out - or tried to walk out - of the bathroom, he grabbed my hand.  He had been waiting for me over in a corner.  We started dancing.  I could hardly stand and lawd...my feet!!  But it was so much fun.  I looked at him and I said, "Finally!!!" Over three years have gone by and we just now made it out.  Damn shame. Soon, we leave, and as soon as I get in the car, I take those gotdamn shoes off like they were on fire.  He laughs.  We're at ease.  Acting like there's still a lil in-love-ness here.  He pulls in the parking lot at his job; his truck is there.  We sit and talk for a bit.  It feels like old times.  From the first time I came to visit, we did that....sat there in my rental and talked.  Soon its time to get going shit, its almost 3am or something like that, so I go to kiss him goodbye.  I'm holdin his face, my hearts racin...I love this man.  I ask him if he's really happy [at home] and he pauses...and says he's content.  But that being content probably won't last forever [I wonder if I made that up, lol].  As usual, I find his zipper open and my face in his lap - only he's a good boy this time and he doesn't cum - he says he's gonna hold it until morning when he comes to see me...if he comes to see me.  I give him the extra key.  I leave...giddy as I don't know what.

This morning at 11:11am (oh i should say saturday), I happen to wake up, check the phone and I realize I hadn't heard anything and he wasn't here, so I assumed he wasnt coming.  I got up, brushed my teeth, and came to check the laptop.  It was 11:36 by then, and he'd sent me an IM at 11:24 saying he was on the way.  Oh SHIT,LOL  So I jump back up, freshen up and get back in the bed.  Start fallin asleep and soon after, I hear him come in.  He gets undressed and gets under the covers next to me - all i feel is skin.  I hate her sometimes.  I would love to feel that EVERYDAY.  LOL.  Round one gets under way pretty quickly.  Then we're snuggled up again and he tells me we're like magnets.  What is the magnetism we share? Dunno, it's just there.  And at some point, he says, "Forever".  I ask what...he says, "Us."  I'm like wow.  WOW.  He says we'll always be close.  Apparently so.  Then he gives it to me again...real nice...LOL.  I've had him on the brain all day, help me.  He left around 130 or so, I'm out the door before 3 to go see her.  We go the mall - I got a lil girly today and spend some money on MAC and Lancome...wow again LOL.  I was lookin for a purse, a lil handbag.  Didn't find one.  I gotta give this one back to my co-worker Monday.  We went back to her house after shopping and not buying much - OH I got crest whitening strips! Lets see if that shit really works.  I did two treatments already - u're supposed to see results after 6 (3 days).  I fell asleep over there watching Kung Fu Hustle - we were sposed to go see Flight Plan but she didnt feel like sitting at the movies today and I didnt either really, after eating all that food at chili's, LOL.  I was laid out in the corner of her bed propped up on some pillows and she came and laid down on my leg after a while.  She wanted me to spend the night...I was like nah....LOL. I got shit to do tomorrow.  Supposed to go see the sister-in-law.  Other interesting things that happened...best friend's dad is getting a divorce, her sister is pregnant but ain't keepin' it nor is she telling the dad, her daughter smokes weed too.  Mom's car broke down - thought it was the trans  but it was an axle or something, I dunno.  So I was gonna loan her my car.  She's pissed with my brother because of his fonkee attitude and phylicia's been sick the last few days with her stomach virus.  I heard a message on FB's vm from some female saying something about she was in the area, something about discovery bay *shrug* I dunno.  Didn't recognize her voice.  I can check the bill later if I want...I was pissed at first.  then i realized he aint shit and neither am I.  And therefore, I really need to stop giving a FUCK about WHAT...HE....DOES!!!!  I have one week left and i'm outta here.  A lil sad but a lil glad at the same time.  I feel confused...I dont understand why I keep doing this thing that i do with fmb.  Love is not an excuse,  nor a good enough reason.  So...do I just leave it as is...I mean it's not like I'll be back anytime soon.  Do I just keep loving him from afar?  Forever's a long time.  The years just keep tickin by.